


Better off this way

by mychemicalcass



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: BOY I DIE, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide, ohoho, so does Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6372010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicalcass/pseuds/mychemicalcass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After all of friends start hating him after finding out he's the spawn of Satan, Rin becomes depressed.</p>
<p>WARNING: TRIGGERING</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better off this way

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't read the summary, this is triggering! Don't read if mentions of self-harm and suicide set you off!

Rin sat on his bed in an empty dorm room, tears falling from his eyes and staining the sheets beneath him. A discarded and blood stained blade lays next to him.

He could already feel his wounds healing themselves. That's good, then no one can see them.

The twin can hear their words again. About how much of a danger he was, the son of Satan. About how he would be better off dead, so he couldn't hurt anyone. They were right. Rin knew he had gotten too many people hurt.

He hears the front door open, followed by Yukio's voice telling him he's home. 'He's home early,' Rin thinks to himself, getting up and grabbing the blade in a panic. He shoves it in his drawer and slams it shut, and attempts to hide the cuts on his wrist until they heal. 

He wipes his eyes, probably just making them more red, but he can't bring himself to care.

Yukio then walks in, smiling at his twin and walking over to his desk, taking out paper work he has to work on. He doesn't say anything. He never does anymore.

He smiles, and greets him, but nothing more than that, except telling him to do his work and waking him up.

Rin stands up, and walks out of the room. Still, Yukio says nothing. The older twin walks to the bathroom, closing the door behind him and locking it. He stares at himself in the mirror. He hates what he sees.

He looks at his tail in the mirror, frowning. He hates it. Just another reminder that he's the spawn of Satan.

Rin leans forward, raising a hand and slamming it against the mirror, shattering it. The glass shards cut his hands, but the twin doesn't care. He deserves it.

He deserves it for letting everyone down. For being a threat to everyone around him. For getting his father killed. What kind of person was he? 

Rin picks up one of the glass shards, dragging it over his wrist, previous scars not yet healed.

He repeats the action, over and over and over, much more than he usually does.

His shoulders shake with silent sobs, tears falling and mixing with the blood pouring from his wrist. The cuts are deep. Exactly how he likes them.

However, when the wounds start healing themselves this time, Rin is disappointed. He doesn't want them to heal. He wants to bleed out.

He clenches his fists, causing more blood to rise to the surface. He looks at himself in the mirror again, eyes landing on the demon sword.

His mouth twists up into a smile, a sickening smile. Rin grabs the sword and pulls it out of its sheath, blue flames erupting around him. 

He stares at his reflection in the bright metal. He hates what he sees. He doesn't regret what he's about to do. It'll benefit everyone, he knows it.

He lifts the sword, holding it close to his chest. This is right. He closes his eyes, brimming with tears, and sinks the knife directly over where he assumes his heart is.

He gasps, sputtering up blood, but his smile doesn't fade. He opens his eyes again, staring at himself in the mirror. He likes what he sees.

The blood dripping from his mouth, the sword lodged in his body. Relief. He won't have to hear their words anymore, or have to stand his brothers silence. This is what he wanted, and what everyone else wanted.

-time skip-

Yukio looks out the window, seeing it starting to get dark. He knows there's no chance Rin started his homework. Now, thinking of it, he hasn't seen his brother for awhile.

He stands, walking out of the room, and down the hall. The first place he thinks to check is the bathroom, see in the light coming from underneath the door.

He walks over, knocking on it. "Rin, you need to start your homework."

No response.

"Rin?"

Still nothing.

Yukio sighs in annoyance, pushing the door open, and freezes in his spot. 

He sees his brother, lying dead on the floor, in a pool of his own blood. Rin is smiling, yet tears stain his cheeks. How could he be smiling? Did he want this /that/ badly?

He sees the blood stained demon sword lying next to his twin. When he looks up at the mirror, he sees two words written with blood.

'I'm sorry.'

Is this what he had done to his brother? Rin had wanted killed himself, and Yukio hadn't even said anything to him?

The boy collapses next to his brother, unable to helped choked sobs that leaves his lips. He grasps his brothers shirt, and drops his head.

"Goddammit Rin, why do you always try to do everything on your own? Even when you need help.." He trails off, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Rin, please, wake up. Laugh and tell me it was just a joke. Please, Rin, just wake up!"

He shakes his brothers shoulders, begging him to wake up. It's like every morning when his brother refuses to wake up, only doing so after what seems like forever.

Only this time, he doesn't wake up, even after what seems like forever. Yukio is left alone, holding his dead brother close, only left with the words:

"I'm sorry."

**Author's Note:**

> I mean lets be honest


End file.
